I usually struggle with what I am going to write about. Today is even more difficult because we did nothing. I don’t mean “nothing”, like when people ask what’s wrong and you answer, “Nothing.” I mean we pretty much sat around all day, alternately doing puzzles, reading, eating, needlepointing, and in the case of Karen, a Benadryl-laden nap (to ease the mosquito bite attack suffered yesterday). That makes it fairly challenging to come up with something interesting to put into this post.
Instead of boring you with the minutiae of everything we did, I decided to take this chance to write a post I have wanted to for a while now. You may remember Andy Rooney, who did a short piece at the end of 60 Minutes episodes. It was usually him pontificating on some minor societal irritation he had, to which I relate wholeheartedly. He would start this segment by saying, “You know what bothers me?” Well, it’s my time to play the part of Andy Rooney as it relates to our travels in Livvy.
You know what bothers me?
Dogs. Well, not dogs, but their owners. Every single campground has a rule that your dogs must be on a leash and under your control. Yet at every single campground, we find dogs off-leash. Why is this so hard, people? I don’t care how cute Poopsy is, I don’t want the damn thing coming up to me! And Daisy tends to get attacked by even the friendliest of dogs. Weakness comes off her like cheap cologne.
Too-loud music at a campsite. Look, I am all for some background music to set the mood. But I should not have to listen to Florida Georgia Line or Luke Bryan or some other halfwit country singer blasting away while I am relaxing. Especially coming from two rows over. Turn it down, Cody Alan.
People who park their cars in clearly-designated RV spaces. The big spaces are there for a reason, and that reason isn’t so you can pop open the trunk on your ’96 Town and Country and have a picnic behind it. Move on!
People who pass us in Livvy, then pull immediately back into our lane without providing a buffer. Invariably, Livvy needs to slow down to accommodate this foolish interloper. This big-assed bulk takes a while to get to speed! So give us a bit of cushion, please.
People who hike off-trail in the parks. Unless the park specifically allows it (like Theodore Roosevelt), stay on the trail. I don’t care how cute the selfie will look with you in the patch of velvety moss (this just happened at Lake Louise), stay on the trail. You are literally crushing living organisms that will take ages to regrow. But at least you got a great TikTok.
People who pump gas, then proceed into the convenience store while leaving their car at the pump. I know you are going to die if you don’t get that overcooked roller-weenie, but move your car first.
People who stop in the middle of the road in a park because they spotted some wildlife. Okay, I get that seeing a grizzly or moose is a special event. But you cannot just block the entire line of cars so you can gawk at said animal. Kindly move over because I am likely late for my happy hour cocktail. And that’s important.
People who get to a clearly desirable, and sought-after, viewpoint, then take forever to get pictures. This person who wouldn’t know the ass-end of a real camera suddenly turns into Ansel Adams. Worse yet are the ones POSING for pictures, asking the “photographer” to take multiple posed shots while reviewing for perfection. All so their Instagram story looks good. Take your damn picture and get the hell out of the way! Some of us left our dog in the RV and want to get back to them. So do the 100 other people you’re holding up. Plus, quite a few probably have to use the bathroom.
Funny how looking at this list, and there are SO many more, what really bothers me is – people. It reminds me of a quote by Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm when he said, “I hate people individually, but I love mankind.” If there’s one thing Karen and I are is we are rule followers. And it is super irritating to watch people ignore those rules, whether written or societal, when it impacts us or the things we care about. And these aren’t the BIG rules I am talking about (murder, theft, liking the Yankees), these are the small ones that allow us all to live together without, well, committing a BIG one.
But sometimes…
Although I would never, ever be a Yankees fan.
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